Bidi vs Cigarette !!!

Bidi = Wife / Cigarette = Mistress!!!

This goes out to all the bidi-lovers…

1)      Bidi comes in a small homely shape while a cigarette comes in a long-white-leggy one..

2)      Bidi is very cheap; cigarette is costly…it just takes to get properly addicted..

3)      You may lend out cigarettes in public but not a bidi(maybe due to shame/inhibition to ur social status)…only dorks and drunkards do (see, I just saved you).

4)      Bidi, as scientists say, is less harmful than the long white temptress.

5)      Bidi is best enjoyed when u r at home, lonely…on the other hand u might smoke cigs right on the sidewalks(in Kolkata, that is).

6)      And now, my favourite point: A Bidi is highly sentimental ( abhimaani, in bangla)..u gotta puff on it off n on..or else it’ll go off..whereas in the case of a cigarette, once u pay the money n light it, it just goes on n on..regardless of whether u r liking it or not…no sentiments involved..just pre-paid pleasure..

Yea..yea..there are too many rebuttals coming to ur mind now..that I just won’t consider…this post is dedicated to my lovely old companion and I won’t hear a word against her…so long u misbelievers…Armageddon is coming soon…Long live ‘neel -dori’…long live C.U. choto/tech canteen…all I care is for the colour of the string and not the decorative golden packs..

Why I’m not a tweeter!!!

Why I’m not a tweeter..

Twitter may be the most addictive pastime of the recent times but sumhow I find it too purpose-less..I know most of u reading this post would disagree with me…the reason being, all our favourite celebs are on twitter and we love following them…but isn’t that too passive?? So I present some points as to why I avoid twitter.

1)      I’m not a celeb so frankly no1 would be interested in what I’m doing or not doing…just imagine how my tweets would look like if I was a regular:

“just had some malpoa at shyamal da’s canteen which was devoid of sugar-syrup(imagine.. sugar-syrup)..heartfelt thnx to rajkumar who again lost a set at 29!!!”

Or,

“just understood how to defeat an artificial chess program..david levy, I owe u 1..”

This list can go on and on to obnoxious recursions.

Frankly, I take this opportunity to take a knock at those who pose as celebs..whatever u might feel about your ‘fascinating’ status updates, I’m absolutely not interested if you like your dumplings fried or in gravy…I’m absolutely not interested if you had to re-route your journey due to a bandh..even this can go on to infinite recursions..

2)      Next, it sends shivers down my spine to think of some tweets that could come up if every1 was to tweet 100% truly..a certain Mr. Mahajan could come up with something like ”had to beat up wife..producer wants to start next season of swayamvar”.

Or,

A certain Ms. Sawant would come up with “kissing isn’t my hobby…it just releases some hormones that makes me wanna lodge an F.I.R. and call a press conference”

Even this can go on..

3)      Twitter spells doom…it might be available on the phones that don’t cost much…but sometimes it costs a ministry..or it costs an entire cricket league presidentship…no need to elaborate I guess.

4)      If I wanted some real social networking I’d rather open my facebook page. it offers more than twitter can even imagine. Basically, I feel extremely lazy to open a page with so few utilities.

5)      I’m a proud person…why the hell should I follow someone who wouldn’t even notice I’m in his ‘follower’ section?? And it really drives me nuts to see stats at newspapers where these celebs boast of their ‘so many followers’, when actually those followers comprise people like myself.

6)      David Gilmour’s not on twitter.

There could have been even more justifications..but even that could go on and on… I’m not saying that u should avoid twitter or sumthing like that..coz there can be a thousand counters to my reasons..what I’m saying is that I don’t like it..